Thursday, June 25, 2009

25 Things I've learned in the last 25 days...

1.) If you cut your dog's toenail too short try a corn starch water mixture first
2.) If that doesn't work try flour
3.) Next try a bar of soap
4.) Lastly try styptic powder, try to get it at the pet store as apposed to the Tractor Supply store in town. You will never use up a bottle made for cattle on your 30lb puggle
5.) ALWAYS use a lot of tape when making a temporary bootie for your dog's paw. They will not like it but too bad....you are trying to save their life!
6.) Never sit on the edge of an old wooden bench that has been sitting out in the rain all spring. They tend to collapse and chances are pretty high you could injure your tailbone or further injure your dog who is loyally sleeping under the bench at your feet.
7.) When playing a game of softball and standing on second base while your 6'4" 200lb male teammate is up to bat, DO NOT put your bare hand out to stop the line drive that is headed toward your face.
8.) When all of options 1 through 7 happen to you in one day, it is safe to say you probably should have stayed in bed that day.
9.)When doing laundry, always check underneath the pile you have just sorted for a wasp that is waiting to sting you.
10.) When mowing the lawn for your dad on father's day...if at any point you have trouble getting it to restart, don't sit and yell at it for 15 minutes. Attempting to throw it across the lawn will only hurt you, just check to see that it has gas. Then, when you discover it does not, fill er' up and move along. Don't feel foolish, who knew that a lawn mower needed gas to start?
11.) When trying to stop your nieces from fighting over if the object on the sidewalk is a wood chip or a bat wing...do not tell them that it can be whatever they want it to be unless you are prepared for them to say that they want it to be "a make-up" or "a Jonas brother".
12.) When driving home from work on a 90 degree day, if your car battery light starts flashing...it is not because you filled up with gas that morning and forgot to click the gas cap three times. It is indeed...a much bigger problem!
13.) When you get to the auto parts store and they tell you that all you need is a new battery and you will be fine....do not believe them.
14.) When, after placing in your shiny new battery, and driving for 10 minutes your battery light starts flashing...it is indeed most likely your alternator as you suggested to the kid pushing you to get a battery at the auto parts store.
15.) Alternators for Hyundai Sonatas are made in France and the company that manufacturers them will not sell them to just anyone.
16.) After calling all of the places your dad told you to call and finding out that the new alternator will cost you somewhere between $260 and $280, you will inevitably find out that your dad has been calling and somehow found one for $70
17.) While for most cars changing the alternator is "easy as pie(whatever that means)"; in a Sonata you will have to pull the whole car apart to change the alternator
18.) If all of your headlights burned out at the same time....your tail lights will most likely do the same
19.) While for most cars changing the tail lights is "easy as pie"; in a Sonata you will have to pull apart the whole trunk to change the tail lights.
20.) Apartments in St. Paul near Grand are hard to come by
21.) Life without pop is hard but after a week or two you get used to it.
22.) Sweet tea is not so good
23.) When taking your dog camping they will always bark at the park ranger's truck and no one elses
24.) Turtle Derbys are AWESOME
25.) A day without laughter is a wasted day (ok I already knew this one, but it sure helped me in a few situations this month)!!!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Things I learned on my way to The Show Me state...


1.) Deer make funny faces right before they die
2.) Sometimes semi drivers get distracted while talking on their cell phones and try to run you off the road
3.) The Dixie Chicks,Norah Jones, Shania Twain and Michael Buble` make great traveling music
4.) Raccoons make funny faces right before they die
5.) Dollar General is quite a nifty store
6.) A car parked in a ditch is not for sale
7.) My sister and I have a lot of fun together
8.) $2 CD's from dollar general get old pretty fast
9.) Fried Gizzards are a delicacy
10.) Red Bull gives you wings
11.) The term "Welcome Center with restroom" means an abandoned building with an outhouse
12.) Outside Unionville Missouri, you need to share the road with travelling buggies
13.) Orange Slushies at QT taste like Tang on steroids
14.) A 6 hour drive down with just my sister and I = a 7 and 1/2 hour drive home with a 10 week old puppy added into the mix
15.) Puppies never go potty when you want them to
16.) All of my fear of public restrooms goes out the window when I've had a Venti iced coffee, 1 Dr. Pepper, 1 liter of water, 1 red bull and part of a slushie
17.) THE Walmart is a good place to kill time
18.) disposable cameras are equivalent to dial up Internet...a complete waste of money
19.) driving for 14 hours is like taking a large sleeping pill
20.) Seeing the look on my nieces faces as they see their new puppy makes every last minute worth it!