Tuesday, January 27, 2009

One of those days!

Two Saturdays ago I had one of those days. My plans consisted of hanging out all morning, going to get my oil changed, meeting Em to go get our hair did, and then I was supposed to go to 2 parties that night. I know, I know...I am such a party animal right?
Well as my Saturday progressed, I was running late and decided to nix the idea of getting the oil changed. The problem with that thought process was that I had not changed the oil in my car since I bought it last April. Now in the past that decision would have been bad but not as bad as now when I have a car worth more than $500. I had put 10,000 miles on my car without an oil change and with the -60 degree weather and the fact that I was now 7,000 miles overdue for a change, the oil change should have been top priority.
My dad had been on my case for months to go get it done. I decided to do other things. Now, on that Saturday as I flew out of the house to go get my hair did, I went to start my car and there were some strange noises coming out of it. Then the check engine light came on and it died. I knew at that moment that I had waited too long. Too be honest I knew WAY before that moment, but it took the realization that I had blown my engine up and was going to have to get a new one (I think that's what happens when you don't get the oil changed), to realize that I had pushed the limits and there would be consequences. I prayed the whole way to getting my oil changed that God would grant me the grace with my car that I was completely undeserving of. I vowed (which I don't do lightly as I know a broken one is not a good idea) to get my oil changed regularly from now on. Well, so far so good. The oil has been changed and at the rate with which I drive it will be 3 weeks before I have to get it changed again:)
In comes the picture of the frying pans. I don't know if you are like me, but why is it that we sometimes have to get hit over the head with something to get it. I've always thought I was pretty good at learning from others examples and listening to what God is telling me....obviously not. I had warning signs with my car and I have warning signs in life. Usually it isn't until some consequence happens that causes me to come to a screeching halt that I finally realize "Oh, so that's what God has been trying to say." That week was a good one for God and I. There were a lot of tears (I'm no longer talking just about the car) and there was a definite reconnection that I haven't felt in some time. I feel God's hands guiding my life so strongly these days and I couldn't be more thankful.
There have been some pretty hard moments. Moments where I question the promises he has given me. Moments where I have thought going on my own would be easier than the feelings I was experiencing. Moments where I lost hope. I know, deep down and now on the surface....he is working in my life. Waiting is hard, but knowing and truly believing that it will be worth it is amazing. Feeling his love for me, his joy over my growth and his hope for my future will sustain me. I am thankful for the people he has placed in my life that help me through and most definitely for the ones that pray for me so diligently. I am thankful for the examples of grace, perseverance and love he has given to me.
Sorry to babble but when my Savior is at work in my life and in the lives of those around me, I just want to talk about it. May you feel His presence this week. May you know the plans He has for you are great and may you acknowledge that you need to relinquish the power to him. May you feel hope, trust and joy for what is to come.


Mamaskills said...

Hey Abbers - I am so glad to hear that you have found contentment and joy amoungst the waiting. I am so proud of you for the steps you have taken to keep your focus on him and to let him guide you. I struggle often over the drivers seat with God, sometimes he gets so sick of me pushing him that he kindly gets out of the way and lets me have my way. The joy gets sucked out of life and I no longer know where I am supposed to be going....you'd think after one time I would quit pushing but I don't. Definatly hang onto the trust and joy you have right now, don't let it fade so that you revert to you driving, and just enjoy time with him. I love ya and think we need a Caribou date :)

Jason said...

Abs...I can tell you first hand (twice over) that if your engine blows, you do have to get another one.

Thanks for sharing your blog with me. I love reading it.