Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Abbie asks: Have you seen me?

So there I was....minding my own business, as I usually do, when out of nowhere this face became the one that I know will haunt my dreams. I was walking to my car, which was parked on level two of the parking ramp at work. As I approach the vehicle I notice a very large form sitting on top of my car right above where the driver's door meets the rest of the car. As I get closer I realize that perched on top of my car is what one who is uneducated in the animal life on the U campus would assume to be a cross between a very large kangaroo and a somewhat smallish Rocky Mountain bighorn sheep. I am not one of those people and so I knew exactly what I was dealing with. It was a Tamiasciurus UOFMUS, commonly known as a Squirrel from the University of Minnesota Twin Cities campus region. This is no ordinary squirrel.
I walked closer to the car making as much noise as possible to try and scare it away. This did nothing. I then proceeded to lock and unlock my car repeatedly hoping this would do the trick. This in turn only alerted the monster to the fact that he was not sitting on a park bench.
Now, part of the problem involves the fact that I park directly underneath an oak tree at home. It is Autumn as you probably know and the acorns are falling off the tree about as rapidly as NFL players are having season ending injuries. There are acorns EVERYWHERE. I have been using my windshield wipers in the morning just so I can see out my window and I try to go from 0 to 60 mph as fast as possible just to lose a few. There are even 10 or so embedded into my paint job.
This being said, the scary monster was eating away at some of these acorns, not fazed in the least by my attempts to rid him from my car. All at once, he spotted me. He looked right at me and.....STAYED PUT. He was not moving. He was however, ever so slightly preparing for the attack if I should try to get any closer to the car (aka his personal vending machine). Now, if you know me at all, you know that I am afraid of pretty much everything. Once I screamed at the sight of a pillow because I though it was smiling at me. This being said I did what any sane person would do in this situation. I walked slowly over to the passenger side of my car as I was calling my co-worker on my cell for reinforcements. I slowly climbed into the car as I hyperventilated into the phone while explaining the situation to my on call sidekick. I shut the door and started to climb over the center console to make for a quick getaway. Just panic button went off on the remote that I had in my hand the WHOLE time. Mr. Scary Monster scurried away faster than Michael Johnson ever ran with his gold shoes. Needless to say, if I ever see that squirrel again....the panic button will be in hand!

1 comment:

Aussiegirl said...

Oh Abbie!
This is hilarious...and this would only happen to you!!!! I love how you tell how things happen to you! Totally made me giggle!