Thursday, July 8, 2010
I was at a wedding a couple of weeks ago and one of my (five) readers brought to my attention that there haven't been any funny stories for awhile. I pondered it and couldn't really think of anything, that funny, that has happened recently. To be honest, life lately has made me wish for a bit of my childhood back. Responsibility has not been a strong suit of mine and unfortunately the act of being irresponsible is much easier and less time consuming than the act of cleaning up and moving forward. Oh well...such is life.
One of my New Year's resolutions was to run a race this year. Some of you may know that I ran cross country and track in Jr. High. If you knew me at all during that time (or really, since) you have probably heard the story of the park bench. If not, prepare yourself for one of the funniest/saddest/stupidest/this would only happen to Abbie-est stories you have ever heard. It was early October and we were in Red Wing for the conference meet. I was on JV and our coach instructed us that Varsity would be running their race first and we were to go warm-up while their race took place. My friends and I began our warm up. We started walking the course and then began to jog. We were loafing around, chatting and doing as little as we possibly could while still under the guise of "warming up". Let's be honest, we were the JV team for a reason. At one point as we were going along, I looked back and saw that the varsity race was coming our way. Looking back on it, I know that I TOTALLY overreacted. If you know me at all, you know this is a pretty common occurrence. The thing was, the racers were headed our way but they were probably a good football field away from getting to where we were on the course.
So, at this point, as I see the racers coming, I jump into adrenaline mode. I yell at my friends "GET OFF THE COURSE!!!" and just take off running. I don't know if the rush of adrenaline blinded me or what but the next thing I know, I am flipping over mid-air and feeling pain in my shins and hips. As this was happening, here are the thoughts going through my brain:
"What did I just run into? It seems like someone may have parked their bicycle there. No, a bicycle would have fallen over from the force...this is something MUCH bigger and stronger than a bicycle. Man, whatever it was...I am in A LOT of pain. Wow, I just did a complete flip through the air. Why are my friends laughing and crying at the same time?"
At this point, I have landed on my butt. I sit there stunned for a moment as my friends chokingly ask "Are you ok?". After what feels like forever, I look behind myself and see the object of all of these emotions. It is a park bench. I had just run FULL SPEED, into a bark bench. My shins hit the seat part as my hips hit the top of the back part. My stomach flipped me over it and the rest is history. I still have less than the normal amount of skin on my right shin. The bruises that ensued from this debacle were colors I had never seen the likes of and it was quite fun to watch them change daily. I was yelled at by my coach for not being more careful and spent the time I should have been running the JV race in the medic area being tended to.
Needless to say, I haven't done a lot of running since those days. The incedint combined with asthma caused me to consider running as one of my least favorite sport activities. The asthma is another story for another day (I promise), but back to the point of this story. I am going to be running the Monster Dash in October. It is a half marathon and I am beginning training this week. Please feel free to join me, there may be a funny story or two in it if you do! Let me know if you're interested!