Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Part 2

Ok so here is where I left off: At this point I have walked to the police car and gotten in the front seat. The policeman gets in the driver's side door and I am sure he is about to tell me that I am under arrest and that my sister will have to fend for herself on how to get home. The conversation that followed was much, much worse!
OA: "So, you're on your way back from Idaho huh?"
Me: "Yeah."
OA: "Is this your current address?" (as he looks at my expired license)
Me: "Yeah."
OA: "So, what is it you do for a living, there in MN?"
Me: "Well sir...I'm a drug dealer." Ok, I didn't use those words exactly but to be honest...that is what I do.
OA: "REALLY??? (said with a little too much glee) So, when you mix Oxycontin with water does it turn to solution right away?"
Me: "Um....I'm not sure."
OA: " Is it illegal in MN to crush up your prescription medications and inject them?"
Me: " Um...I'm not positive but I am pretty sure that it is."
OA: (said swiftly) "Well, it's not illegal in Montana."
Me: "Oh, well I'm really not sure. I'm a Pharmacy Technician not a Pharmacist."
OA: "So, what's the deal with Oxycontin? Why does it have such an effect on people and why do they crush them up?"
Me: "Well, I don't know a lot about the chemical make-up but it is an extended release tablet. You'd have to ask a pharmacist (which I am not) about that."
OA: "So like, what percentage of the actual tablet is drug and what do they use for filler?"

Now the next 5 or 6 or 72 questions proceeded to ask about drugs. Which ones were the most often forged? How many patients I had on certain ones? What color certain ones were (ok that is an exaggeration, but you get my point). After this the officer proceeded to ask me:
OA: "Who is in the car with you?"
Me: " My sister and her two kids."
OA: "What are the kid's names?"
Me: "Isabelle and Elise."
OA: " What are their ages?"
Me: "6 and 4." (At this point I am getting slightly irritated and concerned)
OA: "Who is ** sister's name**?" (said as he is looking at the slightly expired registration)
Me: "That is my sister."
OA: "Who is ** brother in law's name**?"
Me: "That is my brother in law."
OA: "So what, does he think your family is weird? He didn't come to the reunion?"
Me: "Well actually (not that it is any of your business), they are going through a divorce right now so I think he wouldn't want to be around my extended family."
OA: "Oh, yeah I suppose. Ok, well I am just going to issue you a warning as I clocked you going a little fast (I mean my grandma's grandma's grandma drove faster then that in her model T). When was the last time you were pulled over?"
Me: " About 4 years ago." (I didn't tell him that that incident involved a breathalyzer...I thought that would be too much info :) )
OA: "So, what was the name of the company you worked for?"
Me: (At this point I am contemplating lying but figure why start now, maybe this man is going to do a trivia contest about all of the people he pulls over) "Fairview."
He then hands me my warning which has my name as Marie Marie Allen and my address as only the numbers involved. He then tells me that we are through and asks very pointedly" if he has handed me back ALL of my documents." I start to get out of the car but not before a million things rush through my head. Like maybe I should say, "Now that we have talked all about my job....let's talk about yours. Would you say that today is a slow day for you? Would you say that you prefer to pull over the people that drive slower than a turtle going through molasses, as opposed to the people going 30MPH above the speed limit? Are you planning on using what you have learned today about drugs to do anything illegal? Do you plan on visiting MN anytime soon?"
I intended on asking all of these things but instead got out of the car and slowly walked back to my sister's car. I knew a new interrogation would follow, and that one would be the worst. There is nothing more humbling then having to admit you are wrong to the 6 year old in the back seat who hangs on your every word.

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